I will never reach that

I walked into the kitchen and Carolyn was putting some groceries away, she stretched up and put some stuff in a  high cupboard.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Putting the shopping away what does it look like?”

“How tall are you?”

She gave me a look but answered, ” 5′ 9″.”

“How tall am I?”

“4′ 2″”

“Ha bloody-ha, I am 5′ 3″ in my high heeled shoes.”

She laughed, “And your point?”

“What are you putting something that I really like to eat in the highest cupboard we have, even you are stretching to put it away. I’ll never be able to reach it.”

“That’s the point, maybe if you have trouble getting to them they will last longer and not all get eaten in one day.”

She knows me so well.

 

Why all the honking

My bus pulled up to an intersection and stopped at the red light, next to us was a woman in a small red car then a tow truck. Suddenly the woman pulled her red car across the front of the bus and turned right, heading  down the street. I wonder if she paid attention to the bus driver and tow truck driver blaring their horns at her.

She obviously realized within a few seconds that she was driving the wrong way down a one-way street because she spun the car around and came back.

I am just happy no-one was tearing down the street on the green light or they could have hit Miss Numpty head-on.

One reason that even when crossing a one-way street I always look both ways, don;t want to get run over by some numpty not paying attention, once was enough!

 

Anniversary coming up

Well the 17th of this month sees my 12th wedding anniversary, 12 years, who would have thunk it? And to think someone people said it wouldn’t last.

Waggles a hand sign to ‘those’ people.

I have to say a dozen years of wedded bliss and I have a beautiful wife who completes me and who I know I drive crazy at times with my inane sense of humor. I’m sure she wouldn’t have me any other way (hopefully).

So to my darling wife Carolyn, I love you babe, as I say “Lub Yub Pusscat”.

I am taking ten days vacation this month for us to spend some quality time together.

I have also realized that for the last two months I have posted every day. From now on the posting schedule may be reduced, as to what I haven’t yet decided but it probably won’t be every single day.

 

Sorry were you gonna smoke that?

As I sat down to write this post it all seemed familiar  so I searched my posts and found a similar post: similar post.

Anyhoo, as I ever seem to do when not working is wait for buses, no wonder I am getting to see similar events. Woman in front of me lit up a cigarette, took a few puffs then swore as the bus pulled up. She dropped the lit cigarette to the ground and got on the bus. I stepped forward to follower her and placed my foot on the lit cigarette as I did I heard “Hey!”

Looking around I saw a guy bent over his arms splayed as he was about to retrieve the cigarette butt from the ground. He gave me a mean look, so I ground my foot around and smashed the cigarette to mush.

“Ah man!”

I gave him a grin and got on the bus, he called out a cuss word but I didn’t catch it completely as I boarded the bus.

I know, I’m a bar steward.

 

Texting

The wife and I have unlimited text messaging on our phones. We need it as we do text a lot, most to each other but also to the kids. Carolyn and I met online so we are used to sending messages and communicating electronically when not together. Although we are known to send “I love you” texts to each other while sitting next to each other on the bus!

My cell phone was an LG model and I made sure when using the regular phone keypad to text, that I didn’t use my thumbs. I know some people develop aches in their thumbs from only texting with them. My new Samsung phone has a QWERTY keyboard that slides out; I have found I tend to type with my right forefinger on that. Hand cramps and aches afterwards so I need to find a good position that isn’t stressing my hand and forearm.

Maybe I need to just get used to the new phone or I could just speak to the wife more in person.

 

Spitting

Standing at the bus shelter awaiting my chariot to carry me off to work, I notice the ground in front of the bus stop is littered with large globs of glistening spittle. Some dingbat was standing or sitting at the stop waiting for a bus and felt the need to gob all over the place. Disgusting and I hate standing in that crap.

I just don’t see the need to be constantly spitting all over the place, especially where other people walk, it isn’t cool and doesn’t make you look hip or anything. Even worse is when someone is standing near you and hawks up loudly and flobs the gunge on the floor, charming!

I do think I am fast becoming a cantankerous old git!

 

Directions for the wife

Me: So you get off the 121 bus and walk up a couple of blocks. Catch the 70 bus and you know where to get off. If you miss the 70 you can catch the 66 express. It stops at fewer stops and you have to pay attention.

Carolyn: Okay, so where do I get off?

 

not fond of coffee

Someone mentioned that whenever they mention they don’t drink coffee they get a lot of funny looks from people like it is un-American or something.

Got me thinking, I’m not a huge coffee drinker. Occasionally I like a white chocolate mocha from Starbucks or a drip coffee from our machines at work. But I’m not a regular quaffer of the brown stuff. I prefer tea, just regular tea with real sugar and lots of milk. None of this herbal (pronounced “her-ball” not “Er-ball”) fruity tea seeped for five minutes gahhh.

The bitter taste has to be masked by all the goop they put in at Starbucks for me to get any iota of enjoyment from coffee.
I’ve not expereinced the sort of reactions my friend has gotten when I say I don’t drink coffee that much, maybe because I am a Brit. Although I get a few turned up noses at the milk in the tea.

I did try an chocolate covered espresso bean the other day though. The chocolate part was great, the biting into the bean was, well, ghastly.

 

Playing with me balls

Carolyn spent the day with her Mom and as usual came home with bags of cute knick-knacks (which is code for crap she doesn’t want any longer and palms off on us!). Little teddy bears and cats for the wife’s shadow boxes and cabinets. Looking through the stuff I came across a little silver box made from plastic canvas. Felt kind of weighty and upon opening, I found a weighty gray ball inside. Similar to a pool ball.

I asked her what it was for. Smiling she picked it up slipped it into her pocket and put her hand in the pocket as well. Carolyn said that her Mom called it a “Woman’s stress relief ball.”

Her Mom went on to explain; “Men have balls they can play with when they put their hands into their pockets. So women drop one of these balls into their pocket then they can play with them all they want, great stress relief.”

Okay then! This from a woman in her seventies.

 

The tache is real!

Walking across the crosswalk between our buildings at work, another employee on the opposite side of the road called my name and was pointing to his own top lip, “Mik, what’s that?”

Carolyn graciously allowed me to grow a mustache and goatee, she won’t let me grow a full beard though. Every time someone points it out I touch my face and make like I’m shocked and I didn’t know it was there. “Wow fungus has sprouted from my face.”

As this employee and I walked past each other on the crosswalk he asks me; “Is that real?”

I said yes and carried on. Thinking now, I should have said no and walked on. I wonder if I did that how long that would take to go around the company and get back to me.

“Mik wears a false mustache and goatee.” “That Mik, the facial hair, it’s not real!” “The dude is sporting a faux top lip rug.”