Open Letter: Stinky dude please

Open letter to the dude sitting in front of me on the train who will never read this:

Dude, I’d prefer if you would spray on your deodorant before you leave the house not while sitting on the train. The car became filled with the pungent aroma of your deodorant there was no escaping, I thought I might have to puff on my inhaler if the stench prevailed much longer.

I’d almost prefer the smell of your stinky pits than that noxious cloud you sprayed everywhere.

Almost!