Lost things

You always find something you have lost in the last place you looked.

Well, er, yeah!

Although not for me, I keep on looking after I have found what I am looking for.

What?

Push me pull me

Like a cloud dropping rain

I’m discarding all thought

I’ll dry up leaving puddles on the ground

-Pearl Jam (Push me, pull me).

Sorry, all dried up today.

Wife comes home today and I’m too excited to think of anything else.

Quote #2: The pen is mightier – the sword sharper

“The Pen is mightier than the sword.”

- Edward Bulwer-Lytton

This is especially true when writing checks, banks tend to frown on cashing checks written with swords. Of course, if you intend to cause some harm to someone, a good double-handed Zweihänder sword trumps a fine Mont Blanc fountain pen every time.

But sneaking up on said intended victim while dragging the weighty sword with you is difficult, the victim is going to get very apprehensive when they see you no matter how nonchalant you try to appear.

Better then to approach wielding the Mont Blanc pen filled with a good quality permanent blue ink. Your prey will be at ease as you approach them, they assume you intend only to write them a check or sign their autograph book.

Closing the distance you uncap the pen, smile sweetly, then plunge the pen nib into the first available soft tissue target area, on the neck for instance.  As they fall to the floor clasping their wounded neck, gurgling as their purple life blood pumps between their fingers, you recap the pen and retreat.

Just remember, despite the temptation with pen in hand, resist the urge to sign your victim.

Quote #1: Necessity

“Necessity is the mother of all invention.”

And all along I thought it was Ron Popeil!