Luke I’m not your father I just have a cold

With allergies and a cold I have a raging sore throat and am very croaky among others things, I sound like Darth Vader with laryngitis.  I am standing in the kitchen and Gage walks in and I am talking to him. He looks up at me funny,

“Grandpa, why are you talking crazy?”

“I am sick.”

“You’re still talking crazy,” he then goes on to imitate my croaky voice, then the other one starts copying me.

No bloody sympathy I tell ya!

From the mouth of babes

There’s a knock on the door, I open the door and Jade and Gage rush in, “Grandpa, Gage has a story,” Jade tells me.

Gage takes a breath and starts to wave his arms around (he cannot talk without waving his arms about) then starts rapid fire on the one breath.

“Grandpa, four baby monsters came kept coming into our room, they were eating my bones, so I kicked them [he mimics the action of kicking with sounds effects] four times but they would not go away so I shot them.”

I got them to draw pictures of the monsters which they did, and then they both rushed out to get more baby monsters. Which means when the monster parents show up grandpa will have to dispatch them?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where’s my monster killing outfit?

Not quite a fashion statement

I stood in the kitchen getting my lunch together for work, Gage, our grandson having just woken up walks in wearing just his overnight pull-up. “Gage please go get dressed ,” I told him and he stood with his arms across giving me his mean look, “Go on, get that pull-up off and get dressed naked boy.”

He stamps off, “I’m not naked boy!”

“What are you then?”

“I am butthead,” he replies and tears off towards the kid’s room.

Shortly after, he returns buck naked except for a canvas belt wrapped around his waist.

“Er, I don’t think that is what we would call being dressed.”

He laughed then ran off again shouting “Butthead!”

The winds of not quite change

Gage was standing in front of the computer looking at the picture of the Transformer Bumblebee I posted on my earlier post; “Bumblebee…” he then lets out a loud fart.

“Gage! What do you say?”

“I went farty BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!”

“What? No, you say excuse me when you fart.”

I picked him up so he could see Bumblebee better and his Dad told me he can also belch on command, to which Gage starts doing, right in my face.

“Where do these kids learn this stuff?”

Carolyn looks at me with a funny look on her face, “Er, grandpa!”

What?

Enough with the Goober already

The horde of grand kids we had sitting on the couch watching SpongeBob all jumped up as one and decided they were starving and they needed grandpa to feed them. Seeing as no other adult was present I volunteered to make them lunch (great grandpa ain’t I?).

I rooted around in the kitchen then asked if any of them wanted peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, they all responded they did, which was cool as that was an easy lunch to make.

I fished out a jar of Goober, “Who wants Goober on their bread?” I was expecting some funny responses but it seems none of them saw the hilarity in a foodstuff called Goober except for Gage. He walked into the kitchen, “Grandpa, I’m not a Goober!”

“I never said you were I asked if you wanted Goober on your bread.”

“No, you called me Goober,” he stood with his arms crossed, his signature pose.

“No, look it says Goober on the jar,” I held the jar in front of his face.

“No it doesn’t,” he was getting adamant.

“What does it say on the jar then?”

“I don’t know I can’t read,” he replies and stomps off back into the living room,

“You’re a Goober grandpa!”

Transformer or Rubiks Cube I’m stumped

Image via Wikipedia

Gage our grand son who is almost four came out of the kid’s room all bleary eyed, his was fighting sleep and finding any excuse to get up. Rubbing his eyes he hands me his Bumblebee Transformer toy,

“Grandpa, can you make Bumblebee turn into a car?”

“Er, no not really, this thing is beyond me, I’m an old fogey I’ll probably break it.”

Gage shakes his head and takes the toy back and with a few flicks of the wrist has Bumblebee back into a Chevy Camaro and walks back off into the bedroom.

I wonder if the kid can do a Rubiks Cube, I am no good at those things either.